


Shoreline

by GhostSweet (Kakepop)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Depression/Anxiety, Recovery, basically one big extended metaphor, very short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-16
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-08-09 03:31:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7785043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakepop/pseuds/GhostSweet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's something in my veins, and its not blood. It's something darker, thicker, laced with tar and lead, dragging me farther down and down with every step I take until I'm finally back where I belong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shoreline

There's something in my veins, and its not blood. It's something darker, thicker, laced with tar and lead, dragging me farther down and down with every step I take until I'm finally back where I belong.

I'm polluted, but from where and when is hard to remember. Everything's become such a blur its hard to tell where one mistake ends and the other begins; how much damage was done by my own hands and how much other people, unfortunate circumstances, the environment or the very nature of existing in an imperfect world. 

How much does any of this matter anymore?

What's done is done, wallowing in the fallout of my past meltdowns isn't going to make me any less contaminated. I can't rely on the people around me to drag me out of my war when they're all too damaged by their own; I don't know if I could handle their touch anyway.

Maybe they can save each other, maybe that's what they need- to slowly build each other back up piece by peace, filling in the gaps for each other that they can't reach themselves. Maybe. I don't know.  
Maybe the reason my skin begins to burn at their touch, at their very presence, is rooted in me instead of them. Maybe whatever chemical makeup holds me together is in opposition to theirs: Diet Coke and Mentos, iodine and ammonia, oil and water.

But slowly, ever so slowly, I'm diluting. Something is off-putting the cesspool that's been festering in my core. With every pluck of a ukelele string, every dewy-eyed smile and toothy grin, the currents begin to shift.  
The ebb and flow changes daily, and some days come with more grime than others, but no longer is the water stagnant. 

And maybe, just maybe, one day I'll see clear seas ahead.

But for now, there is something in my veins; thick and dark and weighing me down, but flowing all the same.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a character/writing exercise more than any kind of story, partially just to prove to myself that I could write, complete, and post something without freezing up and having a panic attack. 
> 
> Honestly, I (kind of purposefully) kept it so vague it could apply to just about anyone or anything. I promise I started it while jotting down ideas for a human au Lapis. I may actually recycle bits of this some day if I ever do a human au fic. Maybe. Who knows.
> 
> Writing this made me thirsty.


End file.
